#And he's voiced by Flea if I am remembering correctly

[lolihavenoideawhatiamdoing]

I wish there was more love for Aftermath and Spitfire, while I’ve only watched a few episodes of season 2 of Earthspark they were like the only ones I really cared about IMO! But now everyone has just immediately forgotten about them 😭😭

[imagines4thefandoms]

The Man the World Forgot

Part 1

summery: Chris was living the life. He was a famous movie star with all of his films a blockbuster hit. Millions of people around the world knew his name; Chris was the most famous person in the world. But that all changed in a matter of seconds. When Chris wakes up one morning and the world has no idea who he is. Not even his family and close friends. Chris Evans no longer exist, or more exactly he never did. No one remembered him, no one except Scarlet. Scarlet McLaughlin was just a normal college student just trying to make it to graduation. She discovers that she is the one who remembers who Chris Evans is. Together they try and work out why the world doesn’t remember the movie star. Will they be able to fix the movie stars life or will he just stay forgotten in the minds of his loved ones?

word count: 2.2K

Chis Evans’ Saturday night was just a regular Saturday night while away for work: he called Scott to talk to Dodger, went for a quick run before eating in the hotel restaurant. He watched the couple sitting next to him celebrate something and grew a bit jealous. All he wanted in life to find the right person, settle down, and have kids. Chris just never met the right person.

After finishing his meal, the lonely star went back to his room to get ready for his busy day of shooting in the morning. Normally he would at least explore the city a little but he wasn’t in the mood to explore the beautiful Big Easy tonight. Before the elevator doors closed a pair of newly weds game in and were giggling in the corner. Evans tired to hid as to not draw attention to himself but the couple were too entranced with each other to notice that there was someone else in the elevator.

When the now suffocating metal box reached his floor, Chris exited and walked to his room wondering when he would ever have what they had. He kicked his shoes off as soon as his hotel door closed behind him and got ready for bed. Once he got in bed, he decided against watch tv and just let the noise of the city ease him into slumber. But before he could close his eyes, he saw a light streak across the night sky. ‘A shooting star’ he thought. Chris closed his eyes and made a wish.

“I wish I could be normal and find the love of my life,” he whispered before finally going to sleep.

At midnight the sky exploded with light. The entire city of New Orleans went quite for just a second then roared back to life as if being rebooted. Little did the actor know that his innocent wish full of love and hope had come true but has also brought a twist.

Chris woke up to his alarm blaring at six in the morning for his call time at seven thirty. He has awoken with a new cheery disposition than when he went to bed. Chris had a feeling that today was going to be a great day. He was about to call Scott to talk to Dodge and his brother but decided to take a shower first cause he knew he would be on that call for a while.

After his shower, Chris put on simple jeans and a t-shirt then grabbed his wallet and phone to head to set. The bipolar southern weather had subsided and left a nice cool day, causing the actor to decide to walk the few blocks to set. While on his walk Chris noticed that he was actually relaxed. There was no people with cameras following him nor fans stopping him for a picture. He chalked it up to people still being hung over from their night on Bourbon Street. Chris then remembered that he still has to call Scott. He took out his phone and pressed on his brother’s name in his contacts and waited for him to pick up.

“Hello,” Scott answered in a confused tone.

“Hey man, I just called to say good morning to Dodge. Did I wake you,” Chris asked hoping that he didn’t. He sometime forgot that not everyone is on his sleep schedule.

“Who is this,” Scott replied.

Chis laughed thinking that this was one of his brothers pranks or that he had woken his brother up and he was so fresh from sleep that he was confused. “Scott its me. Are you hung over?” Chris asked as he stopped at a cross walk.

“Hi me but I still don’t know who this is. How did you get this number? You can’t just call me to talk to my dog,” Scott said in a slightly irritated tone.

Chris really thought that his brother was milking this prank. Which was fine. “Scott already very funny its Chris. Your brother. Now can I talk to MY dog before I head on set.”

“Look I don’t know who this is but I don’t have a brother. Don’t call here again,” Scott said before hanging up.

Chis looked at his phone after his brother hung up just to make sure he called the right person. He decided against calling him again just to check up on him partly because he wanted to wait til he had a lunch break in hopes that Scott would give up on this prank and partly because he was at his filming location.

He walked up to the security guard and gave him a smile as he walked by, but the guard stopped him. “Name,” the guard asked.

Evans wasn’t use to not being recognized but he chalked it to being protocol. He gave the guard his name and id and waited til he check is clipboard of approved people on set. “Your not on the list,” the guard replied handing back the id.

“There has got to be some mistake,” Chris said slightly annoyed, “Im the lead role.”

“You are not on the list, which means you don’t get in.”

Chris was now more annoyed so he took out his phone and called his agent Charlie to straighten this whole mess out. Once Charlie picked up the phone Chris skipped the pleasantries and just tole him how he’s not being let on set and that he’s about to be late.

“Who is this,” Charlie asked after Chris went on his little rant.

“Charlie, its Chris. Chris Evans.”

“Um i’m not in the office today but if you make an appointment with my assistant we can look into maybe representing you. I don’t know how you got this number but i’m going to give you my assistant’s and you just make an appointment,” Charlie replied in a professional manor.

“Charlie. Im already your client. Did Scott put you up to this,” Chris laughed at the extent of his brother’s prank.

“I know all of my clients and a Chris Evans is not one of them. Im sorry I think you have the wrong number. Have a great weekend,” Charlie replied hanging up the phone.

Chris was starting to really not like this prank. He had to be on set in five minutes, but his anxiety of the whole situation was getting really out of hand so he went for a walk around the city. Then he will be late to set and Charlie will call him back to apologize making the whole prank thing to rest.

Even though the city isn’t at its bullies at seven thirty in the morning Chris couldn’t deny the cozy and exciting atmosphere of it. Once again on his walk Chris was not bothered by fans nor photographers and for a quick second he wondered how extensive was the plank his brother was pulling. He pasted a Café Du Monde and realized that he had planned on eating breakfast on set. This place was on a list of places Anthony had told Chris to visit while he was in New Orleans. These beignets were supposedly the best things ever so Chris took his friends advice and decided to have an order for breakfast.

He sat down at a table outside so he could still enjoy the scenery of the old beautiful city and waited for a waitress to come over. Chris was entranced by some street players when his waitress came over and greeted him a good morning. He looked over and saw a young girl about seventeen in white button-up shirt with black pants, black bowtie, and a long green apron. The actor braced himself for the questions and her starstruck demeanor.

“Are you,” she started to say as she grabbed her notebook out of the apron.

“Chris Evans yes, how are you,” he said expecting her question of a picture and autograph. But it never came instead introduced herself and told him she was asking if he was ready to order.

This took Chris by surprise. Usually you women this this waitress would be hounding him for pictures and autographs and question but she did. He wanted to chalk it up to her being professional but there was a tiny voice inside his head the told him it was something else.

“Sorry um ill take an order of beignets and a café au Lait,” Chris ordered thankful for the pressure from Anthony for him to pronounce every thing he is going to eat in New Orleans correctly so he doesn’t look stupid. The Waitress gave him a nod and a smile before to put in his order.

The waitress came back three minutes later with the coffee and a plate with three beignets. She placed the items on the table and gave him the line of ‘hope you enjoy’ then went back to work. After he took one bite, he realized that Anthony was right about how delicious these things were. Chris was about to text his friend about how much he enjoyed the fried doughy treat but decided against because he knew Mackie was in the west coast for his film and its six am in Hollywood, also he didn’t want to take the chance that Scott had gotten him in on the prank as well.

For the first time in forever Chris Evans wanted to be attacked by paparazzi  and to be swarmed by fans getting too close for comfort. So he did the only think he could think of. Once he finish his breakfast he paid and left a generous tip to the young highs cool student and walked to the place where he knew there would be people at eight in the morning: the Flea Market down the road.

Once he arrived to the Flea Market, he was overwhelmed over the amount of people there. Given that it was eight in the morning on a Saturday it wasn’t weird for this many people to be there, but the sight gave Chris a little bit of anxiety. He was starting to second guess being around so many people in this publish setting just to get recognized.

But once again while he was looking at all the different booths, no one stopped him, no one took his picture, and no one whispered about him behind his back. Chris decided to get Scott something from the flea market in hopes that it would make him fell bad for this prank; Chris had also gotten some souvenirs for the rest of his family while at the flea market as well. Once he was finished with his shopping, the actor headed back to his hotel room. He wanted to get some rest and just wake up from this horrible day.

On his walk back to the hotel, Chris thought that he should enjoy this albeit terrible anonymity he seems to have. He walked a little slower and just took in the sights of the historical buildings he was passing. And while he has heard Anthony complain about the streets being awful in the city he admired the imperfection of the cracks and the potholes, something that natives never have like.

He stoped at Jackson square and enjoyed one street performer groups’ show and looked around at the art work hanging on the fence. Some where simple and others where very detailed but all captured the story of the city that had persevered though many hardships. And after gazing upon what is St. Louis Cathedral, Evans really headed back to his hotel room.

This time the buildings were not the things that caught his attention, but the families that were out exploring the city as he was. One that stuck out in particular was a family with a small girl about the age of five who kept asking her father if they could take a horse ride. She was pointing to the white horse who was standing at the corner to the street waiting for the next people he was going to give a ride too. The father and mother exchanged looked and then agreed which caused the little girl to jump up and down with joy.

The sight made Chris’s heart swell. In that moment he didn’t see that family, he saw the family he hope to have in the future. He saw his littler girl jumping for joy over a horse while him and his wive looked upon her with such adoration. The family disappeared into the horse drawn carriage and Chris’s mind was back on his bed.

Chris was almost at his hotel room when he felt like he was being watched, which on a normal day wasn’t weird but on a day like today it was. He stopped and looked around him to see where this feeling was coming from. That when he noticed someone on the phone across the street staring straight at him. Chris knew that look on her face. Its the face fans get when they see him. This girl knows who he is. She is the only person who does. He knew he had to ask her why.

Part 2

[standbyphoenix]

Movie star River Phoenix left musical mark in Alabama by Matt Wake

Outside record producer Rick Rubin’s Hollywood Hills home, drummer Josh Greenbaum sat in a silver Volvo with his friend and bandmate River Phoenix, the film actor.

The rock-star Lenny Kravitz was with them.

On the car’s stereo, Kravitz played Phoenix and Greenbaum a recording of a new song he’d written called “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” This was 1992, before that explosive tune would become the title track to Kravitz’s third album and era-defining music.

At the moment, Kravitz needed a drummer. He’d recently told mononymous Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea he was frustrated trying to find the right fit. Flea later told Phoenix about Kravitz’s predicament, while Flea was having lunch with Phoenix. Upon hearing about the opportunity, Phoenix promptly hooked-up the drummer of his own band, Aleka’s Attic, with an audition with Kravitz - a much bigger gig.

“And that’s how much River loved me as a brother as a friend,” Greenbaum says. “He was like, ‘I don’t want to hold you back from potential success, and if I can hook you up with this audition then I’m going to do it.’ River was incredibly gracious and generous. He wanted to see the people he cared about thriving.”

The South Florida native wasn’t the only drummer auditioning that day at Rubin’s house. There were 25 or so “L.A. rocker dudes” at the “cattle call” that day “decked-out in leather, nose rings and tattoos.” In sneakers, jeans, sweatshirt and short haircut, Greenbaum looked more college-kid than arena-ready. In the end, the gig didn’t go to a dude at all. Cindy Blackman, a virtuosic jazz musician who happens to be female, deservedly became Kravitz’s next drummer. Still, Greenbaum says he got two callbacks to jam with Kravitz over the course of a week.

River Phoenix was a gifted, charismatic movie star so physically attractive he seemed to defy science.

His nuanced performances lit up such films as "Stand By Me," "My Own Private Idaho" and "Running On Empty."

But Phoenix told Greenbaum more than once, “music was his first love and film was his day-job.”

While some actors’ musical projects can be of dubious quality, Phoenix had legitimate singer/songwriter talent. “Music was a need of his,” Greenbaum says. “That’s why he put so much effort into a band, trying to make it in the music business, which of course would’ve come easier for him than anyone else that wasn’t famous already.”

Phoenix’s other passions included environmentalism, humanitarianism and animal-rights. He was one of the most visibly philanthropic young stars of the early ’90s.

Phoenix was the reason Seventeen subscribers knew what “vegan” meant. “He had a heart of gold and was an extremely hyper-sensitive, emotional person,” Greenbaum says. “And that’s why he wound up helping a lot of people.”

The Gainesville, Fla.-based band’s tours brought them through Alabama, including circa - 1991 shows at Huntsville’s Tip Top Café and Tuscaloosa’s Ivory Tusk. Greenbaum recalls Aleka’s Attic performing in Auburn, possibly at the War Eagle Supper Club there, and maybe Birmingham too.

“We had some successful tours,” says Greenbaum, who’s resided in Maui for more than 20 years. “People showed up because they wanted to hear what River’s band was like, but once they got there they were like, ‘Damn this really is a good band,’ and we had some real authentic fans of the music, for the music, not just because it was River.”

Back before social-media and celeb clickbait, Aleka’s Attic tours also gave fans a rare chance to see a massively famous actor in-person, in the wilds of local rock-bars.

Back then, Sandee Curry was attending Lee High School and delivering pizzas part-time. She was also "obsessed with anything Hollywood-related." When she and friend Michelle Woodson heard about Phoenix's band's upcoming Tip Top Café show, they resolved to attend. "River Phoenix is coming to Huntsville, my hometown? This doesn't happen," Curry says. As many people who lived in Huntsville then are aware, in addition to hosting touring and local bands, Tip Top was known for being extremely easy to get into under-age, so she'd been to shows there before.

Curry brought her snapshot camera to the show. The camera was freshly loaded with black and white film, and she took photos of Aleka’s Attic that night. When she got the film developed later, mixed in with random friend pics were onstage shots of Phoenix, singer Rain Phoenix (River’s sister), bassist Josh McKay, violist Tim Hankins and drummer Greenbaum.

At the Tip Top that night, River Phoenix played a Stratocaster guitar and sported facial scruff, a white T-shirt and camouflage pants. Curry recalls the famous actor being somewhat withdrawn onstage. “If I’m remembering correctly, he was mostly doing backing vocals,” she says. “The bassist and Rain were doing a lot of the singing.” Although Greenbaum says River Phoenix was the songwriter and lead singer on most Aleka’s Attic’s material, fans interviewed for this story recall Rain Phoenix being the focal point onstage during the band’s Alabama shows.

Curry classifies the band’s live sound as “psychedelic ’90s alternative-rock.” She adds, “It was a fun show.”

She remembers enjoying the song “Too Many Colors” and McKay’s tune “Blue Period.”

At the Tip Top, Curry purchased one of the cassette tapes Aleka's Attic was selling at the time. "I listened to that tape a lot and it turned me into a fan" of the band, Curry says. She considered herself "a hippie" and her listening tastes also included The Doors. Curry kept her Aleka's Attic tape until about 10 years ago when she gave it to a friend's young sister who was fascinated with Phoenix: "She was really impressed by this cassette."

Christopher Brown was one of several audio engineers who ran live sound regularly at the Tip Top. On the night of Aleka's Attic he was off-work but there hanging out.

“They were a little more artsy than the typical stuff that we had at the time,” says Brown, who works at a local brewery now. “I remember being pretty impressed by them.” Looking for a more-mainstream, stylistically similar act, I mention Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, known for 1988 patchouli-pop hit “What I Am,” to which Brown, replies, “That’s not a bad comparison.”

The Aleka's Attic show had been the talk of the bar for weeks. Vira Ceci was bartending that night at Tip Top. She recalls Phoenix being "so nice" when she asked him to autograph a cocktail napkin for her cousin, and says the actor was "easily the most accessible member of the band." Ceci, currently employed as a technical writer, recalls the Aleka's Attic show being "pretty busy for a weeknight" and thinks the bar probably charged their typical, $5 cover that night.

Lance Church owned, ran and booked the Tip Top during its prime. He remembers the motor-home Aleka's Attic toured in arriving early in the afternoon and parked in the gravel lot across the street. There was some advance promotion and local press coverage and Church recalls "parents were bringing kids over to sign their movie posters." 

Church thinks Aleka’s Attic’s guarantee was “maybe a couple hundred dollars.”

In 1991 and several years into his acting career, Phoenix was just 21 years old. Church still keeps a photo of he and Phoenix shaking hands inside the Tip Top. "He seemed like a really good kid to me," says Church, now a manager at a chain restaurant. "He was polite. He didn't come in there like he was too good for the place or nothing. He was humble, a very likeable guy. He was giggly - he was just a kid."

Church says there'd been many phone calls in to the Tip Top in the week leading up to the Aleka's Attic gig, people asking about start time and such. In the end, he thinks about 100 people attended the show, inside the cinderblock building's mechanics-garage-sized interior. The Billiter sisters were among those attendees: Grace, then 18, Becca, 16, and Jo, 14 - all students at Westminster Christian Academy. (Again, the Tip Top was way easy to get into.) That night, Grace drove them to the Aleka's Attic show in her classic pink Volkswagen Beetle. Back at their family's northside Huntsville home, the sisters displayed River Phoenix photos on their bedroom walls, along with images with other hotties of the day, including Mel Gibson and Billy Idol. Other bands back then the sisters liked included INXS. 

Expecting to see Phoenix as he'd appeared as a svelte longhaired Indiana Jones in the latest "Raiders of the Lost Ark" sequel, the Billiters were surprised to see him onstage with a haircut Becca remembers as "choppy and punky." Jo says Phoenix's singing voice "sounded good, a little gravely" and had "nice harmony with his sister." But what's really seared into Jo's hippocampus is she was in the same room with "hands-down my favorite movie star." When the band was on break, the sisters got to meet their idol. Phoenix even briefly, sweetly put his arm around Jo. "I think my heart stopped for a couple beats," she recalls. Looking back, Becca says, "I love that it was the three sisters" that got to share resulting, VW-wide smiles that night.

James Dixon, a University of Alabama student then, attended Aleka's Attic's Ivory Tusk show. On the sidewalk out front of the Tusk, he saw Phoenix leaning up against a nearby light-pole, smoking a cigarette. "That was the days before selfies and things like that," recalls Dixon, who works in financial services in Birmingham. "People would say, 'Hey, River,' and the coeds were swooning over him, but he wasn't being hassled. He seemed laid-back."

Inside, the Ivory Tusk was packed. Earlier that day, Kelli Staggs and friend Lori Watts were playing pinball on a machine inside the bar while the band was doing their soundcheck. One Aleka's Attic musician came over and said hello, then Phoenix, recalls Staggs, who now works in Huntsville as a defense contract specialist. Later that night, Staggs says Aleka's Attic performed, in addition to their material, a version of far-out Jimi Hendrix tune "Third Stone from the Sun." After they played their Hendrix cover, the band asked the crowd if they knew that song. "It was like they were trying to weed out who was there for the music, and who was just there to see him because he was famous," Staggs says. Staggs was an art major at University of Alabama, where she'd seen alternative bands like 10,000 Maniacs perform at local venues.

Aleka's Attic drummer Josh Greenbaum recalls the band enjoying their Alabama shows. "I remember good energy, a good crowd. I remember getting treated pretty well." (Greenbaum has a random memory of one or more of these Alabama venues having troughs instead of urinals in the men's room.) He recalls Tip Top as "a dive, and we loved it for that reason. It was very endearing." In Tuscaloosa, he met a friend named Nancy Romine he's stayed in touch with. "During the same Southeast run, Greenbaum says Aleka's Attic did a show in Knoxville, Tenn. that was multitrack recorded and broadcast. In this era, "Lost in Motion," "What We've Done" and "Dog God" went over particularly well live, he says. Greenbaum recalls Phoenix, "loved the creative process of recording. If he had a preference I would say the studio was, probably, because he was a little bit shy and didn't like being in public places so much. But I know he loved playing live too and he did enjoy the touring. He was happy doing both."

Greenbaum was born 13 days before Phoenix. They were just 16 the first time they met, their families were friends. Greenbaum drove his dad's 1977 Chevy van to Phoenix's aunt's house, Phoenix walked out to meet him, then they went inside where Phoenix played him a demo tape of his song "Heart to Get." "It was a cool song," Greenbaum says. "The last of the commercial music that he wrote, as far as I'm concerned." The two teenagers hung out for about an hour then Greenbaum drove back home. A few months later Phoenix called Greenbaum and said he'd met Island Records founder Chris Blackwell backstage at a U2 concert and Blackwell wanted to sign Phoenix to a development deal. Phoenix asked Greenbaum to move to Gainesville - the famously progressive Phoenix family were living in nearby Micanopy - and start a band. He'd get him money each month to help "develop a band, make records and tour." Greenbaum moved to Gainesville in April 1988. He also spent time with Phoenix in Southern California, getting to know each other."

We were sort of like non-blood cousins," Greenbaum says. "River could trust me, A, because he knew each other through family and he knew I wasn't going to just be some starstruck idiot; and, B, because I'm a great musician. And he valued me as a human being and as a musician, highly. And that proof of his commitment to music, that he was willing to support a brother, to have my talents." 

At the time, Greenbaum had been playing “Aerosmith-y, commercial blues-influenced metal” in a local group called Toy Soldier, that eventually became semi-famous ’80s rockers Saigon Kick. At one point, Phoenix traveled to South Florida to visit with Greenbaum on a weekend when Toy Soldier was performing. “River had just gotten into (1984 mockumentary film ‘This is) Spinal Tap’ really heavily, and he did a ‘Spinal Tap’-esque video of that weekend, of that gig and the next morning,” Greenbaum says. “It was pretty funny, actually.”

Greenbaum was influenced by populist bands like Van Halen, Bee Gees and Queen. Phoenix introduced him to more quirkier acts like XTC, Roxy Music and Squeeze. As time went on, Phoenix's music became increasingly experimental. "It was deep, for sure," Greenbaum says of his friend's songwriting. "He had a commitment to crafting a masterpiece every time he wrote a song. And it drove me nuts. He was an eccentric person and his method of communication was such he didn't speak in technical music terms. He would speak artistically and metaphorically. He would say things like, 'I want it to sound like a ship on the ocean with the waves crashing up against the hull and birds flying over' or whatever. I would be like, 'OK, can we break that into sixteenth-notes?'"

Aleka's Attic's label, Island Records, was trying to figure out what to do with this music too. Island asked Phoenix to record two new demos to determine if they'd continue backing the project. He was going to be in the Los Angeles area filming the movie "Sneakers" and brought Greenbaum out to help demo songs. The drummer was able to hang on the "Sneakers" set, where he met his friend's costars, including Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier and Dan Aykroyd. After Phoenix turned in the new demos to Island, the label deemed the music unmarketable. Aleka's Attic was dropped.

At a certain point, McKay, who’d “butted heads musically and personally” with Phoenix for a while, Greenbaum says, parted ways with the band. Phoenix put together another band called Blacksmith Configuration, that featured Greenbaum and some new musicians, including bassist Sasa Raphael.

Phoenix was big on palindromes, Greenbaum says. Their song titles “Dog God” and “ Senile Felines” were palindromes and they were working on an album to be titled “Never Odd or Even,” another example.

On the night before Halloween 1993, Greenbaum went out partying with local musicians, “an intense night, for whatever reason.” Early the next morning, he crashed on the couch at a friend’s downtown Gainesville apartment. A few hours later, Greenbaum woke still buzzed to one of his musician pals from night prior knocking on the front door. When the friend entered, he looked pale and sweaty. He told Greenbaum he’d heard on the radio Phoenix had died. “I was in shock, but it just made sense and I knew it was true,” Greenbaum says. “In some way it didn’t surprise me. I didn’t see it coming - I can’t say that - but what I did see in River was his tendency for being extreme.”

In the wee hours of Oct. 31, Phoenix had collapsed and died on the sidewalk outside West Hollywood, Calif. nightclub The Viper Room, then co-owned by fellow actor/musician Johnny Depp. An autopsy determined cause of death to be “acute multiple drug intoxication.” Cocaine and morphine. Jo Billiter, the young fan who watched Aleka’s Attic’s 1991 show in Huntsville, cried when she heard the news her favorite actor died. “It broke my heart.”

Several fans interviewed for this story said Phoenix seemed a little bleary to clearly buzzed when they’d seen his band perform. Asked if he ever saw Phoenix’s partying on tour reach scary levels, Greenbaum says, “It was a typical rock & roll level. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was a bunch of guys in their young 20s playing gigs and having fun, just like any other band.”

When he was off working on films, Phoenix would check in every few weeks with Greenbaum, the drummer says. Phoenix called him from Utah, where he was filming the thriller “Dark Blood.” His next role was slated to be the interviewer in “Interview with a Vampire.”

When Phoenix called Greenbaum from Utah, “that was the most lucid, sane, grounded, understandable, discernible I had ever experienced him sounding. (In the past) there were times when I just couldn’t follow what he was talking about. He was kind of cryptic. And on that phone call he was like completely calm and sounded really together and we had a great conversation, a great connection and it wound up being our last phone call.”

In 2019, Aleka’s Attic music is back in the news. Two of the band’s songs “Where I’d Gone” and “Scales & Fishnails” were released along with a Rain collaboration with R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe (a friend of River’s) on a three-song collection called “Time Gone.” The record’s cover art features a photo of Rain and River, young and beautiful enjoying a sibling hug amid a verdant scene. A prior posthumous push to officially release Phoenix’s music hit snags getting musicians involved to sign off. “At that time, I was just like, 'Yeah, Rain, just get River’s music out to the world,’” Greenbaum says of that earlier effort. “That’s why he signed a record deal in the first place, to share his music with the world.”

As of the reporting of this story, Greenbaum says he hasn’t been contacted about usage of Aleka’s Attic music on “Time Gone.” The drummer found out about the release via messages from Facebook “friends” who are River Phoenix fans. “Rain didn’t consult us, she didn’t inform us, nothing,” Greenbaum says.

At one point during this interview, Greenbaum says he needs to call me back, so he can count out change to pay for groceries. He says he still plays drums with different local Maui cover bands as well as a blues-rock trio and by-day works construction and maintenance jobs.

Kro Records, the label that released “Time Gone,” didn’t respond to an email inquiry to interview Rain Phoenix and/or a label rep for this story.

Regular financial support and fast-tracking the Lenny Kravitz audition weren’t the only times Phoenix helped Greenbaum. He also bought him an electric-blue DW drumkit, among other instances. Outside of playing music, Phoenix and Greenbaum would throw the frisbee together or jump on the Phoenix family trampoline. They liked going to Falafel King and eating tabbouleh salad and humus. The famous actor would often come over for coffee to the mobile home Greenbaum and Greenbaum’s father lived in, on the Phoenixes’ Micanopy property.

These days, sometime random things will make Greenbaum think of River Phoenix. Sometimes it’s something more direct, like playing a gig will make him think of a certain onstage moment with his late friend.

After counting out coins in the checkout line, Greenbaum calls back. I ask if he thinks pressures of growing up famous led to what happened to Phoenix. “I wouldn’t doubt it,” he replies. “I definitely see how fame messed with his head, his heart. I think fame has that effect on everybody, which is why everybody wants to be famous, but you hear about all these famous people dropping dead and they’re unhappy, depressed and have drug and alcohol problems. Because fame is unnatural.”

— via AL.com, Feb 19, 2019.

[rivjudephoenix]

New Photo and Article: “Movie star River Phoenix left musical mark in Alabama” on al.com

Outside record producer Rick Rubin’s Hollywood Hills home, drummer Josh Greenbaum sat in a silver Volvo with his friend and bandmate River Phoenix, the film actor. The rock-star Lenny Kravitz was with them. On the car’s stereo, Kravitz played Phoenix and Greenbaum a recording of a new song he’d written called “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” This was 1992, before that explosive tune would become the title track to Kravitz’s third album and era-defining music. At the moment, Kravitz needed a drummer. He’d recently told mononymous Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea he was frustrated trying to find the right fit.

Flea later told Phoenix about Kravitz’s predicament, while Flea was having lunch with Phoenix. Upon hearing about the opportunity, Phoenix promptly hooked-up the drummer of his own band, Aleka’s Attic, with an audition with Kravitz - a much bigger gig. “And that’s how much River loved me as a brother as a friend,” Greenbaum says. “He was like, ‘I don’t want to hold you back from potential success, and if I can hook you up with this audition then I’m going to do it.’ River was incredibly gracious and generous. He wanted to see the people he cared about thriving”

The South Florida native wasn’t the only drummer auditioning that day at Rubin’s house. There were 25 or so “L.A. rocker dudes” at the “cattle call” that day “decked-out in leather, nose rings and tattoos.” In sneakers, jeans, sweatshirt and short haircut, Greenbaum looked more college-kid than arena-ready. In the end, the gig didn’t go to a dude at all. Cindy Blackman, a virtuosic jazz musician who happens to be female, deservedly became Kravitz’s next drummer. Still, Greenbaum says he got two callbacks to jam with Kravitz over the course of a week.

River Phoenix was a gifted, charismatic movie star so physically attractive he seemed to defy science. His nuanced performances lit up such films as "Stand By Me," "My Own Private Idaho" and "Running On Empty." But Phoenix told Greenbaum more than once, “music was his first love and film was his day-job.”

While some actors’ musical projects can be of dubious quality, Phoenix had legitimate singer/songwriter talent. “Music was a need of his,” Greenbaum says. “That’s why he put so much effort into a band, trying to make it in the music business, which of course would’ve come easier for him than anyone else that wasn’t famous already.”

Phoenix’s other passions included environmentalism, humanitarianism and animal-rights. He was one of the most visibly philanthropic young stars of the early ’90s. Phoenix was the reason Seventeen subscribers knew what “vegan” meant. “He had a heart of gold and was an extremely hyper-sensitive, emotional person,” Greenbaum says. “And that’s why he wound up helping a lot of people.”

Phoenix formed in Aleka’s Attic in 1987. The Gainesville, Fla.-based band’s tours brought them through Alabama, including circa-1991 shows at Huntsville’s Tip Top Café and Tuscaloosa’s Ivory Tusk. Greenbaum recalls Aleka’s Attic performing in Auburn, possibly at the War Eagle Supper Club there, and maybe Birmingham too.

“We had some successful tours,” says Greenbaum, who’s resided in Maui for more than 20 years. “People showed up because they wanted to hear what River’s band was like, but once they got there they were like, ‘Damn this really is a good band,’ and we had some real authentic fans of the music, for the music, not just because it was River.”

Back before social-media and celeb clickbait, Aleka’s Attic tours also gave fans a rare chance to see a massively famous actor in-person, in the wilds of local rock-bars.

Back then, Sandee Curry was attending Lee High School and delivering pizzas part-time. She was also "obsessed with anything Hollywood-related." When she and friend Michelle Woodson heard about Phoenix's band's upcoming Tip Top Café show, they resolved to attend. "River Phoenix is coming to Huntsville, my hometown? This doesn't happen," Curry says. As many people who lived in Huntsville then are aware, in addition to hosting touring and local bands, Tip Top was known for being extremely easy to get into under-age, so she'd been to shows there before.

Curry brought her snapshot camera to the show. The camera was freshly loaded with black and white film, and she took photos of Aleka’s Attic that night. When she got the film developed later, mixed in with random friend pics were onstage shots of Phoenix, singer Rain Phoenix (River’s sister), bassist Josh McKay, violist Tim Hankins and drummer Greenbaum.

At the Tip Top that night, River Phoenix played a Stratocaster guitar and sported facial scruff, a white T-shirt and camouflage pants. Curry recalls the famous actor being somewhat withdrawn onstage. “If I’m remembering correctly, he was mostly doing backing vocals,” she says. “The bassist and Rain were doing a lot of the singing.” Although Greenbaum says River Phoenix was the songwriter and lead singer on most Aleka’s Attic’s material, fans interviewed for this story recall Rain Phoenix being the focal point onstage during the band’s Alabama shows.

Curry classifies the band’s live sound as “psychedelic ’90s alternative-rock.” She adds, “It was a fun show.” She remembers enjoying the song “Too Many Colors” and McKay’s tune “Blue Period.”

At the Tip Top, Curry purchased one of the cassette tapes Aleka's Attic was selling at the time. "I listened to that tape a lot and it turned me into a fan" of the band, Curry says. She considered herself "a hippie" and her listening tastes also included The Doors. Curry kept her Aleka's Attic tape until about 10 years ago when she gave it to a friend's young sister who was fascinated with Phoenix: "She was really impressed by this cassette."

Christopher Brown was one of several audio engineers who ran live sound regularly at the Tip Top. On the night of Aleka's Attic he was off-work but there hanging out. “They were a little more artsy than the typical stuff that we had at the time,” says Brown, who works at a local brewery now. “I remember being pretty impressed by them.” Looking for a more-mainstream, stylistically similar act, I mention Edie Brickell & New Bohemians, known for 1988 patchouli-pop hit “What I Am,” to which Brown, replies, “That’s not a bad comparison.”

The Aleka's Attic show had been the talk of the bar for weeks. Vira Ceci was bartending that night at Tip Top. She recalls Phoenix being "so nice" when she asked him to autograph a cocktail napkin for her cousin, and says the actor was "easily the most accessible member of the band." Ceci, currently employed as a technical writer, recalls the Aleka's Attic show being "pretty busy for a weeknight" and thinks the bar probably charged their typical, $5 cover that night.

Lance Church owned, ran and booked the Tip Top during its prime. He remembers the motor-home Aleka's Attic toured in arriving early in the afternoon and parked in the gravel lot across the street. There was some advance promotion and local press coverage and Church recalls "parents were bringing kids over to sign their movie posters."

Church thinks Aleka’s Attic’s guarantee was “maybe a couple hundred dollars.”

In 1991 and several years into his acting career, Phoenix was just 21 years old. Church still keeps a photo of he and Phoenix shaking hands inside the Tip Top. "He seemed like a really good kid to me," says Church, now a manager at a chain restaurant. "He was polite. He didn't come in there like he was too good for the place or nothing. He was humble, a very likeable guy. He was giggly - he was just a kid."

Church says there'd been many phone calls in to the Tip Top in the week leading up to the Aleka's Attic gig, people asking about start time and such. In the end, he thinks about 100 people attended the show, inside the cinderblock building's mechanics-garage-sized interior. The Billiter sisters were among those attendees: Grace, then 18, Becca, 16, and Jo, 14 - all students at Westminster Christian Academy. (Again, the Tip Top was way easy to get into.) That night, Grace drove them to the Aleka's Attic show in her classic pink Volkswagen Beetle. Back at their family's northside Huntsville home, the sisters displayed River Phoenix photos on their bedroom walls, along with images with other hotties of the day, including Mel Gibson and Billy Idol. Other bands back then the sisters liked included INXS.

Expecting to see Phoenix as he'd appeared as a svelte longhaired Indiana Jones in the latest "Raiders of the Lost Ark" sequel, the Billiters were surprised to see him onstage with a haircut Becca remembers as "choppy and punky." Jo says Phoenix's singing voice "sounded good, a little gravely" and had "nice harmony with his sister." But what's really seared into Jo's hippocampus is she was in the same room with "hands-down my favorite movie star." When the band was on break, the sisters got to meet their idol. Phoenix even briefly, sweetly put his arm around Jo. "I think my heart stopped for a couple beats," she recalls. Looking back, Becca says, "I love that it was the three sisters" that got to share resulting, VW-wide smiles that night.

James Dixon, a University of Alabama student then, attended Aleka's Attic's Ivory Tusk show. On the sidewalk out front of the Tusk, he saw Phoenix leaning up against a nearby light-pole, smoking a cigarette. "That was the days before selfies and things like that," recalls Dixon, who works in financial services in Birmingham. "People would say, 'Hey, River,' and the coeds were swooning over him, but he wasn't being hassled. He seemed laid-back."

Inside, the Ivory Tusk was packed. Earlier that day, Kelli Staggs and friend Lori Watts were playing pinball on a machine inside the bar while the band was doing their soundcheck. One Aleka's Attic musician came over and said hello, then Phoenix, recalls Staggs, who now works in Huntsville as a defense contract specialist. Later that night, Staggs says Aleka's Attic performed, in addition to their material, a version of far-out Jimi Hendrix tune "Third Stone from the Sun." After they played their Hendrix cover, the band asked the crowd if they knew that song. "It was like they were trying to weed out who was there for the music, and who was just there to see him because he was famous," Staggs says. Staggs was an art major at University of Alabama, where she'd seen alternative bands like 10,000 Maniacs perform at local venues.

Aleka's Attic drummer Josh Greenbaum recalls the band enjoying their Alabama shows. "I remember good energy, a good crowd. I remember getting treated pretty well." (Greenbaum has a random memory of one or more of these Alabama venues having troughs instead of urinals in the men's room.) He recalls Tip Top as "a dive, and we loved it for that reason. It was very endearing." In Tuscaloosa, he met a friend named Nancy Romine he's stayed in touch with. "During the same Southeast run, Greenbaum says Aleka's Attic did a show in Knoxville, Tenn. that was multitrack recorded and broadcast. In this era, "Lost in Motion," "What We've Done" and "Dog God" went over particularly well live, he says. Greenbaum recalls Phoenix, "loved the creative process of recording. If he had a preference I would say the studio was, probably, because he was a little bit shy and didn't like being in public places so much. But I know he loved playing live too and he did enjoy the touring. He was happy doing both."

Greenbaum was born 13 days before Phoenix. They were just 16 the first time they met, their families were friends. Greenbaum drove his dad's 1977 Chevy van to Phoenix's aunt's house, Phoenix walked out to meet him, then they went inside where Phoenix played him a demo tape of his song "Heart to Get." "It was a cool song," Greenbaum says. "The last of the commercial music that he wrote, as far as I'm concerned." The two teenagers hung out for about an hour then Greenbaum drove back home. A few months later Phoenix called Greenbaum and said he'd met Island Records founder Chris Blackwell backstage at a U2 concert and Blackwell wanted to sign Phoenix to a development deal. Phoenix asked Greenbaum to move to Gainesville - the famously progressive Phoenix family were living in nearby Micanopy - and start a band. He'd get him money each month to help "develop a band, make records and tour." Greenbaum moved to Gainesville in April 1988. He also spent time with Phoenix in Southern California, getting to know each other.

"We were sort of like non-blood cousins," Greenbaum says. "River could trust me, A, because he knew each other through family and he knew I wasn't going to just be some starstruck idiot; and, B, because I'm a great musician. And he valued me as a human being and as a musician, highly. And that proof of his commitment to music, that he was willing to support a brother, to have my talents."

At the time, Greenbaum had been playing “Aerosmith-y, commercial blues-influenced metal” in a local group called Toy Soldier, that eventually became semi-famous ’80s rockers Saigon Kick. At one point, Phoenix traveled to South Florida to visit with Greenbaum on a weekend when Toy Soldier was performing. “River had just gotten into (1984 mockumentary film ‘This is) Spinal Tap’ really heavily, and he did a ‘Spinal Tap’-esque video of that weekend, of that gig and the next morning,” Greenbaum says. “It was pretty funny, actually.”

Greenbaum was influenced by populist bands like Van Halen, Bee Gees and Queen. Phoenix introduced him to more quirkier acts like XTC, Roxy Music and Squeeze. As time went on, Phoenix's music became increasingly experimental. "It was deep, for sure," Greenbaum says of his friend's songwriting. "He had a commitment to crafting a masterpiece every time he wrote a song. And it drove me nuts. He was an eccentric person and his method of communication was such he didn't speak in technical music terms. He would speak artistically and metaphorically. He would say things like, 'I want it to sound like a ship on the ocean with the waves crashing up against the hull and birds flying over' or whatever. I would be like, 'OK, can we break that into sixteenth-notes?'"

Aleka's Attic's label, Island Records, was trying to figure out what to do with this music too. Island asked Phoenix to record two new demos to determine if they'd continue backing the project. He was going to be in the Los Angeles area filming the movie "Sneakers" and brought Greenbaum out to help demo songs. The drummer was able to hang on the "Sneakers" set, where he met his friend's costars, including Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier and Dan Aykroyd. After Phoenix turned in the new demos to Island, the label deemed the music unmarketable. Aleka's Attic was dropped.

At a certain point, McKay, who’d “butted heads musically and personally” with Phoenix for a while, Greenbaum says, parted ways with the band. Phoenix put together another band called Blacksmith Configuration, that featured Greenbaum and some new musicians, including bassist Sasa Raphael.

Phoenix was big on palindromes, Greenbaum says. Their song titles "Dog God" and " Senile Felines" were palindromes and they were working on an album to be titled "Never Odd or Even," another example.

On the night before Halloween 1993, Greenbaum went out partying with local musicians, "an intense night, for whatever reason." Early the next morning, he crashed on the couch at a friend's downtown Gainesville apartment. A few hours later, Greenbaum woke still buzzed to one of his musician pals from night prior knocking on the front door. When the friend entered, he looked pale and sweaty. He told Greenbaum he'd heard on the radio Phoenix had died. "I was in shock, but it just made sense and I knew it was true," Greenbaum says. "In some way it didn't surprise me. I didn't see it coming - I can't say that - but what I did see in River was his tendency for being extreme."

In the wee hours of Oct. 31, Phoenix had collapsed and died on the sidewalk outside West Hollywood, Calif. nightclub The Viper Room, then co-owned by fellow actor/musician Johnny Depp. An autopsy determined cause of death to be “acute multiple drug intoxication.” Cocaine and morphine. Jo Billiter, the young fan who watched Aleka’s Attic’s 1991 show in Huntsville, cried when she heard the news her favorite actor died. “It broke my heart.”

Several fans interviewed for this story said Phoenix seemed a little bleary to clearly buzzed when they’d seen his band perform. Asked if he ever saw Phoenix’s partying on tour reach scary levels, Greenbaum says, “It was a typical rock & roll level. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was a bunch of guys in their young 20s playing gigs and having fun, just like any other band.”

When he was off working on films, Phoenix would check in every few weeks with Greenbaum, the drummer says. Phoenix called him from Utah, where he was filming the thriller "Dark Blood." His next role was slated to be the interviewer in "Interview with a Vampire."

When Phoenix called Greenbaum from Utah, "that was the most lucid, sane, grounded, understandable, discernible I had ever experienced him sounding. (In the past) there were times when I just couldn't follow what he was talking about. He was kind of cryptic. And on that phone call he was like completely calm and sounded really together and we had a great conversation, a great connection and it wound up being our last phone call."

In 2019, Aleka's Attic music is back in the news. Two of the band's songs "Where I'd Gone" and "Scales & Fishnails" were released along with a Rain collaboration with R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe (a friend of River's) on a three-song collection called "Time Gone." The record's cover art features a photo of Rain and River, young and beautiful enjoying a sibling hug amid a verdant scene. A prior posthumous push to officially release Phoenix's music hit snags getting musicians involved to sign off. "At that time, I was just like, 'Yeah, Rain, just get River's music out to the world,'" Greenbaum says of that earlier effort. "That's why he signed a record deal in the first place, to share his music with the world."

As of the reporting of this story, Greenbaum says he hasn’t been contacted about usage of Aleka’s Attic music on “Time Gone.” The drummer found out about the release via messages from Facebook “friends” who are River Phoenix fans. “Rain didn’t consult us, she didn’t inform us, nothing,” Greenbaum says.

At one point during this interview, Greenbaum says he needs to call me back, so he can count out change to pay for groceries. He says he still plays drums with different local Maui cover bands as well as a blues-rock trio and by-day works construction and maintenance jobs.

Kro Records, the label that released "Time Gone," didn't respond to an email inquiry to interview Rain Phoenix and/or a label rep for this story.

Regular financial support and fast-tracking the Lenny Kravitz audition weren't the only times Phoenix helped Greenbaum. He also bought him an electric-blue DW drumkit, among other instances. Outside of playing music, Phoenix and Greenbaum would throw the frisbee together or jump on the Phoenix family trampoline. They liked going to Falafel King and eating tabbouleh salad and humus. The famous actor would often come over for coffee to the mobile home Greenbaum and Greenbaum's father lived in, on the Phoenixes' Micanopy property.

These days, sometime random things will make Greenbaum think of River Phoenix. Sometimes it's something more direct, like playing a gig will make him think of a certain onstage moment with his late friend.

After counting out coins in the checkout line, Greenbaum calls back. I ask if he thinks pressures of growing up famous led to what happened to Phoenix. “I wouldn’t doubt it,” he replies. “I definitely see how fame messed with his head, his heart. I think fame has that effect on everybody, which is why everybody wants to be famous, but you hear about all these famous people dropping dead and they’re unhappy, depressed and have drug and alcohol problems. Because fame is unnatural.”

[tickles-tea]

4 a.m.

This is just complete fluff. I'm sorry 

"Shizu-chan..."

Shizuo jolted awake at the sound of an exhausted, and oddly soft, voice. Turning his head to the side, he was met with the half-lidded eyes and lopsided smirk of Orihara Izaya.

He frowned in confusion at their position. Just a second ago, Shizuo had been reclining against the headboard of the bed while he was waiting for Izaya to finish up his-rather unsavory-work. Now though, Shizuo was laying on his side, face partially buried in Izaya's too soft pillows and staring into deep russet eyes.

I didn't even hear him come in. Goddamn sneaky flea..! Shizuo thought, a crease forming between his brows.

Izaya suddenly laughed, startling his companion slightly. "Of course you didn't hear me come in, Shizu-chan! You were soundly asleep and snoring like a beast," he said, amusement clear in his tone. Izaya's comment made Shizuo realize that he had accidentally spoken his thoughts aloud, though he didn't particularly care.

He was slightly surprised to find that Izaya's words hadn't ignited even the smallest spark of anger in his chest. It seemed that he was too tired to get annoyed over a remark so trivial, which was something he was secretly grateful for. After all, it was rather discouraging to succumb to the anger he hated so much because of something as stupid as an offhand comment.

Shizuo's gaze shifted to Izaya's mouth to see the insufferable smirk that he had been expecting despite his sleep muddled thoughts. He dazedly noticed that the left corner of Izaya's lips curled upwards whenever he displayed this particular expression. However, there was something odd about it. The main difference he noted was the overall air of this sly smile. Usually, his grins were sharp and deadly, a threat and a promise at the same time. The expression he wore now seemed somewhat softer. Shizuo thought it might be the dark circles that hung beneath Izaya's eyes or maybe even the little indents on either side of his nose from his reading glasses. Shizuo wasn't able to determine the cause of this change before he felt a sharp tug on his hair.

Startled out of his observation, Shizuo blinked his eyes back into focus to see Izaya frowning. He looked like he was on the verge of being annoyed but was too tired to fully commit to the feeling. Continued silence from Shizuo prompted Izaya to speak up again. "Shizu-chan?"

Another, slightly harder, pull on his hair successfully awoke Shizuo from his dazed stupor. "I was asleep?" He grumbled, bringing a hand up to try to rub the lingering sleep from his eyes. Izaya let out a hum and nodded; the frown from before had eased and amusement danced in his eyes in place of the irritation. A thin hand gently carded through Shizuo's hair, as if in silent apology for the tugging from before.

Shizuo sighed and leaned into the touch. Being with Izaya meant harsh words, charming excuses, and sometimes even silence for days on end. But it also meant blinding smiles, thoughtful surprises, and the love that Shizuo thought he'd never experience. Izaya trusted him in a way no one else could and, because of that, Shizuo was willing to deal with the good and the bad sides of Izaya. 

This included his ability to stay up until the ass crack of dawn.

"You know you don't have to wait up for me, right? I told you I wouldn't be done for a few more hours," Izaya said, closing his eyes with a quiet sigh. "Tsukumoya was being more difficult than usual, so it took even longer than I anticipated."

Izaya's fingers were tracing random patterns through Shizuo's hair and Shizuo's face was one of peace and contentment. That expression, however, was replaced in favor of one with much more aggression. "Ah? He made you stay up 'till three-"

"Four," Izaya quickly corrected.

"'Til four in the morning," Shizuo continued, frowning even harder than before. "I don't care if he's a UI or whatever-"

"AI."

"I'll kill him," he said definitively and with a short nod. No one had the right to make Izaya get even less sleep than he normally did. They'd gotten into arguments about Izaya's ridiculous sleep schedule before, and though they always ended with tired glares and waining patience on both ends, Shizuo still tried his damnedest to make sure Izaya got at least five hours of uninterrupted sleep. If Shizuo remembered correctly, Izaya had a client coming over at seven in the morning and the flea always woke up well before his meetings.

What all of that means is that Izaya was probably already thinking about saying to hell with it and not sleeping at all, which was absolutely unacceptable.

"I can tell what you're thinking, and it's not that big of a deal. I can just take a nap after my client leaves and I'll be well rested before my meeting with Shiki-san," Izaya said breezily, moving his caressing fingers from Shizuo's hair to behind his ear. He knew that if he didn't diffuse this now it could lead to a fight, even if it'd only be a small one. "Shizu-chan is getting worked up too easily. Hey, I wonder if I can calm him down like a dog..." he mumbled to himself before scratching behind Shizuo's ear gently. "Dogs like having their ears scratched so maybe beasts do too."

Izaya, likely expecting a growl, was surprised when his action instead prompted a twitch and a gasp. He was even more baffled to see the glimpse of a smile curling at the sides of Shizuo's mouth.

Being as clever as he was, Izaya caught on rather quickly and adopted a grin that promised nothing but trouble. Shizuo could practically feel the mischief radiating off of him in waves. "Is Shizu-chan a bit ticklish here? How cute!" Izaya laughed, snickering even more when he saw Shizuo's blushing face.

Not nearly as amused, Shizuo reached up and firmly grasped the laughing bastard's wrist. "Shut up and go to sleep." He settled himself back into the pillow and, perhaps foolishly, released Izaya's wrist. He hoped that his boyfriend would behave himself and see that they both needed to sleep. While it was understandable for one's judgement to be impaired late at night, anyone in any state of mind should know that Izaya Orihara should not be trusted.

So really, he shouldn't have been so surprised when Izaya reached out again to skitter his fingers from behind Shizuo's ear down to his collarbone.

Shizuo jerked back, but Izaya was as quick as ever and moved with him, hands never stopping their motion. They spidered all across his neck, around his ears, and even going as far as his shoulders.

Shizuo couldn't stop the growly chuckles from escaping his lips even if he tried. He didn't see the point in trying to hide his reactions. He'd only look like a fool if he were to deny that he was ticklish. It wasn't something he was particularly ashamed of-after all, Izaya was much worse-but in the face of Izaya's stupid smirk, he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. The bastard almost looked like he was looking down at Shizuo, like he was interacting with a child rather than his own boyfriend. The way he was teasing Shizuo did nothing to show otherwise.

"How pathetic! The strongest man in Ikebukuro is blushing like a schoolgirl! How does it feel when I touch here? Does it tickle?" Izaya was surely purring out more taunts, but Shizuo tried to drown them out with his own interjections of insults.

"Knock it off, you shihihitty flea!" He barked out around his laughter, trying to keep a grip on Izaya's wrists that wasn't too strong nor too loose. He'd instinctively reached up to still those terrible hands, but he'd managed to stop himself from pulling them away. There was no doubt in his mind that he was more than capable of putting a stop to this, and judging from the puzzled glint in Izaya's eye, he knew the same.

So why wasn't he?

It certainly couldn't have anything to do with the genuine contentment he could see in Izaya's eyes or the soft smile that was slowly replacing that intolerable smirk. Surely, Izaya was leeching the strength from his body with some sort of dark magic.

That dark magic must have been sapping Izaya's own strength, because his wiggling fingers slowed and settled themselves across Shizuo's nape. When Shizuo looked at his face, he saw flushed cheeks and an embarrassed pout.

"...'Zaya?" he questioned once he'd caught his breath, but his boyfriend remained quiet.

The only response he received was the blanket being tugged away as Izaya turned his body, his back now facing Shizuo. Shizuo's brow twitched in annoyance at being so clearly ignored, but Izaya spoke up then. "Stupid Shizu-chan has no right making faces like that."

"What are you talking about?" Shizuo asked, a little irritated at Izaya's sudden mood change. He knew what he was getting into when he confessed to Izaya all those years ago, but time has not made it any easier to deal with him. No amount of time would make it easier, he was sure.

A muffled groan sounded from Izaya's side of the bed. Blush having faded for the most part, Izaya looked over his shoulder at Shizuo with a weak glare. "You're so oblivious, it's exhausting," he said, opening his mouth as if to speak again. He hesitated for a second before continuing, albeit with some reluctance. "I mean beasts like you shouldn't be allowed to look that cute. Now shut up and go to sleep," he said, unintentionally mimicking Shizuo's earlier words. "I'm tired." Izaya turned away again and pulled more of the blanket away from Shizuo, probably out of spite.

Shizuo's eyes widened at the compliment poorly disguised as an insult. Izaya was stingy with genuine compliments so it was surprising that he would say something like this so openly. The dismissal following it was obviously added as a cover up but perhaps there was some truth to it. After all, the only way he would've said such a thing would be because exhaustion had loosened his tongue. A quick look at the alarm clock on the nightstand showed that it was nearing 4:45 am.

Realizing that they both really needed to get to sleep-he hadn't forgotten about Izaya's early meeting-Shizuo decided to let him off easy. He could always bring up this moment later, so for now he just let out a soft chuckle and pulled Izaya's body close against his chest.

"Yeah, alright. Goodnight, 'Zaya," he murmured, lips brushing against the back of Izaya's neck.

There was a beat of silence before he got a reply, quiet but content.

"Goodnight, Shizu-chan."

[hannahindie]

A Way To Go: Part 2

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean, John Winchester (Brief) Word Count: 3,657 Warnings: Some language, a little bit of angst, precious angel baby Sam because TeenChester always needs a warning. A/N: This is Part 2 to the challenge fic I wrote for the challenge @kas-not-cas is doing. You can find part 1 here! Once again, this was beta’d by the wonderful @pinknerdpanda and @trexrambling, thank you my lovelies!! It turns out there’s going to be a part 3, so that’ll be coming hopefully soon. I was going to try to be super clever in my A/N, but I think I used it all up. haha I hope you enjoy this! As always, tags are at the bottom and if you find that you are missing or would like to be added, please let me know! Feedback is always appreciated!

Sam and Dean had told me about Heaven. Well, their Heavens, since apparently that’s a thing that differs between people. None of that pearly gate, streets of gold you always hear about, just endless moments filled with their favorite memories. I had never thought about what my Heaven would look like because I never thought it really mattered. I have to admit, after seeing what most of the angels were like and knowing that God had just kind of peaced out on everyone, I stopped thinking about it altogether. So you can imagine my surprise when I found myself standing in the living room of my childhood home. I don’t how to describe it other than it just...was. One minute, I’m looking into Sam’s eyes and the next I’m standing in my old house.

It’s a weird feeling, standing here looking at things I haven’t seen in years. It’s just like I remember it; the floral print couch up against the wall, the worn recliner my dad used to sit in and watch baseball, the rug my mom had bought from a flea market we’d visited on one of our many trips to the local antique malls. There are voices echoing in the kitchen, but they aren’t voices I immediately recognize, so I slowly walk down the hall and towards the sound.

There are several moments in this house that I would have considered a winner for my own personal Heaven, and I have to say, the scene in front of me is not one of them. John Winchester is leaning against the kitchen sink, and he’s talking to Sam and Dean. Sam looks to be about fourteen, and it hits me what day this is from. Why in the hell would this be my Heaven? None of them have noticed me standing in the doorway, so I’m able to listen in on the conversation that they must have had that day before I had made my appearance.

“Listen, boys, Y/N has been through a lot these past three days. We need to get her to Pastor Jim so that he can do...whatever he does in situations like this. Don’t talk to her about what we do, she doesn’t need to worry about that right now.”

“But what if she asks?” Sam’s voice is quiet and barely audible, and Dean glances over at him, his arms crossed across his chest.

John sighs, “Just....change the subject, son.” I step into the room and I’m not even sure how this works, but the moment my foot hits the linoleum John looks over at me and gives me a sad smile. “How’re you holding up, Y/N?”

I shrug, “I’ve been better.” I walk over and sit next to Sam, and the moment he looks at me I know why this particular memory is the one I walked into. It may have been the day my parents had died, but it was also the day that I met Sam Winchester.

The moment that I realize why this day is important, I’m standing in the middle of a clearing instead of the kitchen. Let me tell you, even when you are dead, being zapped from one place to another is pretty disconcerting. My attention is drawn to a cabin partially hidden by half dead pine trees and ivy crawling up one side and across the roof. I can’t help but smile because this memory makes a little more sense. I make my way across the yard, my eyes taking in the brilliant blues and purples of the wildflowers that are scattered across the bright green grass, and I hear the sound of an ax hitting wood. As I round the corner, the source of the sound comes into view. It’s Sam, but it’s sixteen year old Sam, and there is already a large pile of stacked wood off to the side. I almost forgot how small he used to be; this Sam isn't even as tall as Dean yet and he’s nothing but arms and legs. If I remember correctly, this is the summer that his growth spurt hit, and I can see the beginnings of the muscles he will eventually get as he continues to chop.

This memory is probably one of my favorites. Sam and I are the same age, so when we were younger it was usually just the two of us because Dean was just old enough that he sort of did his own thing. One weekend, Pastor Jim and John had gone on a hunt and left Dean to watch us while they were gone. Sam and I were sixteen, old enough that we didn’t need a babysitter, and none of us had been happy about the situation. Dean had stormed off, and Sam and I decided that we should go off on our own and prove that we could survive without Dean. We had “borrowed” Pastor Jim’s old truck and taken off before Dean could make it back. I can’t remember what had brought us to this cabin, but as soon as I’d seen the clearing full of wildflowers I had begged Sam to stop the car. The best part was he never even questioned it, just smiled quietly, nearly killing me with his dimples, and had pulled into the weed choked driveway.

We had made it four days before John found us. I will never forget the look on his face when he saw the two of us sitting on the porch of that abandoned cabin without a care in the world. I’m not sure if he was more amused or angry, but Dean was furious. I didn’t realize until years later that it was probably because John had laid into him for not keeping a better eye on us. The thing I remember most about it though was watching Sam as he worked outside, his shirt abandoned on the small stoop that came down from the back porch, and how happy he looked. The kitchen window had been open and little did Sam know, I could hear him singing quietly to himself as he stacked the wood and built up the small fire pit we were using to cook dinner.

If you think Sam Winchester is a beautiful man with that silky hair and color changing eyes, you have not lived until you hear him sing. He never noticed that I'd heard him then, and standing here now I can actually hear what it was he was singing that day instead of just the mumbled melody.

“And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding.There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how...Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me and after all, you’re my wonderwall…”

I'm pretty sure my mouth is hanging wide open, so I snap it shut. That was the only time I'd ever heard him sing other than when he goofs off with Dean, and I never realized what he was singing that day. It has to be a coincidence, but as I take a step forward and the sound of my foot cracking a dead, dry branch echoes across the clearing, Sam looks up at me and smiles. Maybe it wasn't coincidence after all.

The sound of a door slamming shut is what pulls me out of my reverie and I realize I've once again jumped to a different memory. All it takes is seeing the motel sign to immediately throw me into a state of panic. This can't be Heaven, this isn't a day I have ever wanted to relive. I'm standing in between the Impala and a giant truck, so I force myself to look around the jacked up truck bed to see who had left the motel room. Sam is heading towards the Impala, and this is the first time I've been able to see just how angry he was the day he left.

Thinking back on this particular day, I realize that if I'd had the choice to stay with Pastor Jim instead of going with the Winchesters, I may have just stayed home. The downside to that is that I would not have gotten to see Sam for that last time, and it was years until I got to see him again. I feel a little guilty when I think that maybe it would have been worth it just so that I didn't have to see the pain etched into his handsome features, or hear the words John had spit out like some kind of poison. I watch Sam as he grabs his bag from the backseat of the Impala and slings it over his shoulder.

“They don't want me to come back, I won't. I don't need to...I don't want to.” He slams the car door shut with more force than he really needs to, then looks back at the hotel door with...is that longing? “Maybe...maybe I should take Y/N with me...she deserves better. She's smart...maybe she could go to school, too.” I'm frozen in place and unsure if I’m actually hearing this, because Sam is mumbling and I'm beginning to think I can't trust my hearing or judgement. He sighs, “She does deserve better...and better is not hanging around with a Winchester.”

He begins to walk away and I finally find my voice, “Sam!” Nothing. Sam keeps walking, his head down and shoulders slumped, and I run after him. “Sam, listen, I’ll go! I'll go with you!” He continues to walk and never even acknowledges my hand when I put it on his arm. Unlike the other two memories, it's as if I don't exist. “Sam…please…” I'm begging him like he can actually hear me, and I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks. Whoever made this Heaven needs to seriously reconsider their day job. Worst. Heaven. Ever.

“Dammit!” I'm yelling at no one, which makes me angrier. I drop to the ground and sit in the gravel lot, my hands in my lap. What is the point in all this? I would have stayed at that cabin, that could have easily been my Heaven, and here I am sitting in a dirty, uncomfortable gravel filled lot-

And now I'm not. The jagged rocks that were cutting into my legs have been replaced by soft grass. I slowly raise my head and immediately groan. This was also not a day I particularly want to relive, although it's not nearly as traumatizing as the previous one. Stanford’s campus is sprawled out in front of me, and I'm sitting like an idiot in the middle of the main quad area. No one seems to see me as they walk past, thank God. I stand and brush the dirt off my ass and cautiously make my way toward one of the buildings.

I'm not sure if I realized on the day this memory happened why I was so upset when I saw them walking towards me, hand in hand and smiling, but I sure as hell get it now when the scene repeats itself. Sam is walking in my general direction, his hand laced with the blonde girl’s next to him. She's gorgeous, and I immediately feel that heavy feeling in my stomach, that feeling of not being good enough for my Sammy. They're both smiling, honest to God smiles, and it hits me that the last time 21 year old me saw that kind of smile on Sam’s face was when we were at that cabin. I remember why I left without talking to him that day; he was happy. He was the happiest I had seen him in a long time, and I didn't want to be the one to ruin it. Sam had walked away from our life, had left me behind, and I had spent the next eight years trying to pretend that that didn't bother me.

Sam and Jess walk right past me, and although Sam’s gaze seems to fall where I’m standing, he looks through me just like in the last memory.

“Son of a bitch! What kind of fucking Heaven is this?” I'm sobbing, I can't help it, and my yells are falling on deaf ears. “I don't get the point in this. This is bullshit-”

“Y/N.”

The unexpected voice scares the bejesus out of me and I jerk around, “Jesus Christ!”

The man standing behind me smiles and his bright blue eyes crinkle, “Not quite.”

I know I'm dead, and I know that none of what is happening makes sense, but this is ridiculous. “Chuck?”  

“In the flesh. Well...no...in the...you get my point.” I'm aware that staring is rude, but I'm looking at Chuck like he has two heads. All I can think to do is shake my head. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

My eyes widen, and I legitimately feel like I'm going to punch Chuck in the face, “Am I...am I okay? Are you serious? I'm DEAD, Chuck. So I would say I am decidedly not okay.” Is he smiling at me? He's smiling at me. “I'm glad you're finding some kind of humor in this, someone needs to. Wait, are you dead?” Chuck shouldn't be here, but if he doesn't quit smiling I might actually kill him.

Chuck shakes his head, “No, I'm not dead. Although I am the reason you're here.” Oh, well isn't that just skippy?

I glare at him, and he flinches slightly. Good. “Would you care to explain why I don't just get to sit in my own little Heaven and instead I'm being dragged around to some of the worst days of my life?”

Chuck takes a step towards me and something feels...off. This is Chuck, this is the borderline alcoholic prophet that was afraid of everything, but it isn’t. This Chuck feels stronger, more confident. I can feel it radiating from him, and I have to admit, it's almost scary. “Y/N, we need to talk.” He snaps his fingers and now we’re on the side of the road. Sam is bent over by the ditch, the Impala shielding him from passing cars as Dean stands nearby and watches over him.

“Is Sam okay?” Funny how I'm more concerned about that than I am about being dead.

Chuck nods, “He’ll be fine.” Chuck motions for me to follow, and we walk closer to the car. My gaze slips to the back seat and I immediately stop walking. I have seen some shit in my life, more than I ever want to remember, but there is nothing quite like seeing your dead body laid out on the backseat of your best friend’s car.

“Holy shit.” It comes out almost a whisper, and Chuck looks back at you.

“I'm sure that's not a huge surprise, right?”

I glare at him, “No, asshole, it's not. But usually when a person dies, they don't have to see their corpse after the fact.”

Chuck laughs, “That’s true.” He stops a few feet short of Sam and Dean and holds his hand up to stop me as well. Sam stands and wipes the back of his hand across his mouth.

Dean pushes off from the hood of the Impala and claps him on the back. “You alright, Sammy?”

Sam shakes his head, and all I want to do is run my fingers through his chestnut hair, like I used to do when we were kids and would sit outside, perched on one of Bobby’s junkers while we watched the sky.

 “No...no, I'm not. I couldn't save her, Dean. I was right there. I was right there, and just like that, she was gone. I can't fix this. Cas can't fix this. All I can do now is take her home and burn her body, and I don't...I don't know that I can do that.”

Dean sighs, and I can see that he's just as heartbroken but he's trying to keep it together for Sam, just like he always does. “We have to. We gotta give her a proper burial, you know that. It's no different than anyone else-”

“It is different, Dean,” Sam’s voice is almost a growl, and Dean looks up at him, his eyebrows raised. Sam meets Dean’s gaze, and if my heart could race right now, I’m pretty sure it would be beating out of my chest. “It's different because I...I love her. I don't think I can watch someone else I love burn.” Sam pushes past Dean and climbs into the Impala without another word. Dean throws one last glance toward the back window, and it hurts to see how tired and broken he looks. The Impala roars off and I'm left standing in the settling dust with Chuck.

I'm angry. It's bad enough that I am being zapped from one memory to another, but this is too much. I whirl around to face Chuck, “What the hell was that? Huh? I don't understand how you're doing this, but if you don't stop, I swear to God I'm going to kick your ass.”

Chuck laughs. He actually laughs. Is it possible to be going crazy even though you're dead? Because that is the only explanation for what's happening right now.

“You can swear to me all you want, you can even kick my ass if you want, but all of this was for a reason.”

Swear to...me? Now I'm even more confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I'm God, Y/N. And I needed you to see how important you are to the Winchesters. Specifically one.” My mouth is hanging open. Chuck is God? This is bringing up even more emotions, and I have to say, none of them are good.

“Are you kidding me? You're God? Chuck, the squirrelly little prophet who, let's be real honest, can barely write a cohesive book, is God? That…that's a kneeslapper.”

Chuck frowns, “I'm a good writer! I do get a little wordy sometimes, but that's just...you know what, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you need to understand why those memories are important.”

I cross my arms and glare at Chuck, “I get the cabin, but was it necessary to throw me into the others? Those were three of the worst days I've ever had. Why are those important?”

Chuck smiled, “Because you chose Sam’s happiness over your own. You let him go, even though it hurt you, not once, but twice.”

I can't help but laugh, “And look where it got us, Chuck! Jess died, and Sam still ended up in this life. So me letting him go? It just prolonged the inevitable. Actually, it probably made it worse.”

“You're missing the point, Y/N. It doesn't matter how it ended. It matters that Sam had that choice. The world has always needed Sam and Dean both, but Sam needed a reason to believe that. I wish it could have gone differently for him, but we all have a part to play.”

My arms drop to my sides and I feel my nails digging into my palms as my hands clench into fists, “You knew all that was going to happen…and you just let it because the world needed him? What kind of loving, merciful God are you?” I take a step towards Chuck, but this time he stands his ground. “What about my family? Did they die for this worldly cause too?”

Chuck gave me a sad smile, “Your story did not start until you met the Winchesters. I had to make sure that happened.” My vision tunnels, and even though my goal was to punch Chuck in the throat I find myself on my knees in the dirt.

“You...killed my family because the world needed all of us together?” I feel tears pouring down my face, but I can't find the strength to wipe them away. Chuck kneels down in front of me, and for a moment the Chuck I know is there, not God, just awkward Chuck. He wipes the tears from my cheek with his thumb, and if this moment wasn't so awful I would probably laugh at the absurdity.

“I'm sorry, Y/N. But there is a reason for everything. Just like there was a reason to show you all of this. Your story began with the Winchesters, and it ends with the Winchesters. Today is just not the day it's supposed to end.” He smiles at me, and before I can say anything else he puts a finger to my forehead and all I see is white.

The first thing I notice is the smooth leather under my fingertips, and how cool it is despite the warmth I can feel coming through the window. Wait...I can feel things. I can feel the vibrations from Baby’s growling engine and every bump that we hit in the road. I twitch my fingers to see if they'll work, and sure enough I'm able to drum them against the bench seat. It seems I can also wiggle my toes, and then it hits me that I need to breathe. A moment of panic hits when I forget how to for a second, and then I gasp. I scramble up in the seat, my lungs burning, and take in large gulps of air to try to satisfy my body’s need for oxygen. The thing is, I seem to have forgotten that the Winchesters are still under the impression that I'm dead until Dean slams on the brakes and nearly throws me head first into the front seat.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yells as the Impala comes to a screeching stop. Sam and Dean both swivel around to look at me, and I look at them sheepishly and smile.

“Hello, boys.”

Continue to Part 3 HERE

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